If you’ve firmly decided on divorcing your spouse, you may be looking for the best next steps to take. Divorce advice for women includes pondering questions such as: Do you leave the home? When is the right time to start looking for your attorney? Will you need an attorney at all? In these emotionally trying times, there are no clear step-by-step instructions to take. There is, though, a guideline you can follow to help ease yourself into a clean separation.
Step One: Stay or Go?
The first question women ask themselves is whether or not to leave their homes. Divorce advice for this question all depends on your circumstances. Most divorce attorneys insist on staying in your marital home during the duration of the divorce. Leaving the home might compromise your chances of keeping it during settlement. If you’re experiencing abuse, trauma, or injury, leave the source of conflict as soon as possible. Make sure, though, that there is documentation of the abuse. Abused women will receive both sympathy and good feelings from the court when a divorce is settled. Do not, though, falsely claim abuse. Many women attempt to “play the victim” by purporting sexual assault and battery. Judges and attorneys alike can easily detect a lie and won’t appreciate the attempted deceit.
Step Two: Taking Care of the Kids
The next thing a woman must be concerned about is making sure that any children involved in the divorce are receiving the care and guidance they need. Some of the most common divorce advice for women with children involves sending the kids away to a relative’s or friend’s house during the initial separation. Children should not be in the middle of the “firing range” while you and your spouse settle disputes. Children should also not be used as leverage or control over your spouse. One attorney warns her clients against the emotional tolls divorce can have on children, saying that kids taught to take sides will end up confused on just how marriage should work in their own futures. Instead, show your kids how to peacefully resolve conflict.
Step Three: Dividing Assets
After figuring out how to deal with the home and your children, the next steps for how to get a divorce is to figure out what you want to take. Divorce advice for men and women both state that being greedy, malicious, and unmovable when dividing assets will only hurt everyone involved and lengthen the legal process. It’s important to make concessions when deciding who gets what. In community property states, all marital possessions and property are divided fifty-fifty, a compromise that many turn to. While you may not want to give your spouse anything at first, realize that you have to give a little to get a little.
Divorce Advice for Women
While there is no steadfast guideline for divorce, there are a couple of key issues to address once the process has begun. First, make sure that you’re safe in your home. Choosing to stay or leave should be a decision based entirely on your safety. After that, make sure that your children’s needs are accounted for. While splitting assets may be a hard and emotional ordeal, make sure that you’re flexible regarding who gets what. A cleaner, healthier divorce is more possible than you might have imagined.
