Divorce Advice Not To Take
When getting a divorce, there are many people out there who want to put their two cents in. But good divorce advice is hard to come by during a time when many people feel hurt and slighted by the one they loved the most. While many may try to give you advice, know that sometimes, this advice is misleading and will only end in harm. Divorce is the last time in your life when things need to be harder than they should be. Playing mind games, taking everything, and using your children are three pieces of advice to run away from.
Playing “Mind Games”
Free divorce advice from friends and family is abundant when the subject is raised. Many say to “play the victim” to garner sympathy and receive a larger settlement. You may even have friends who have told you to use possessions as leverage to get what you want. None of this, in any way, is good advice. Playing mind games, engaging in child’s play, and even blackmailing your spouse are no way to end a marriage, even though much divorce advice for women by their friends includes these things. Keeping things “clean” on your side is the best way to ensure a fair and stress free termination of marriage. Attorneys also unanimously agree that an honest client will garner more respect and, in turn, more assets, if they play by the rules and avoid playing tricks during a divorce.
Trying to Take Everything
Feelings of hurt, rejection, betrayal and hate come along with a divorce, but that shouldn’t drive you to selfish, childish behavior. Don’t demand everything in a divorce to spite, hurt, or jab at your spouse. Statistically, the most positive divorces come from community property states, where assets are split down the middle. While many friends might urge you to fight for everything you and your spouse have, playing the “hurt game” won’t get anyone anywhere. One divorce attorney suggests “stepping away from the pain” while you’re deciding what you want.
Using Your Children
Divorce advice for men and women alike always stresses the emphasis on parenting through this tough time. Often, children don’t understand exactly why or what’s happening, so it’s your job as a parent to help them understand their feelings and emotions. Using your children as blackmail against your spouse is not the way to accomplish this. There are countless accounts of parents demanding custody so that they can receive child support, sympathy, and leverage over the other divorcee. Don’t be this parent. Your child is going through enough. A website for divorce advice online encourages parents to be there for their kids instead of forgetting them, saying “When the people that children love most are not interested in helping them deal with the emotional effects of divorce, natural anxieties and fears can develop into significant and often long-term problems.”
Keeping a Divorce Clean
Even though divorce is a painful and trying time, there is some advice not to listen to, no matter how well-intentioned it is. Avoid playing games with your spouse’s mind or trying to take everything that you two own. Most importantly, do not use your children as leverage to get what you want from your divorce. Even though divorce is painful, try to make the process as smooth for everyone involved by keeping the divorce “clean.”